Our boys were so cooperative. Stepping on the scale to check their weight without a fuss and being content with the toys and books in the room when we conversed with the neurologist.
She asked us questions, observed the boys, and asked more questions.
Finally, she says,
"They have Autism."
My heart sank.
Not from surprise.
Maybe from the unexpected.
Tears streaming down my face faster than I can control them.
My mind racing into the unknown.
Questions. So many questions.
She answered all the questions we could think of at the time,
handed us some information to read,
some prescriptions for therapy, and a bit of encouragement.
It felt as if our whole life was turned upside down,
much like finding out we were expecting twins at 21 weeks gestation.
Only this was a little heartbreaking.
This wasn't the road we wanted for them.
What does this mean for their future?
After much reflection, a roller coaster of emotions, tears, and conversations with people who have walked down a similar road, we're confident that everything is alright.
Maybe even better than alright. We now know there are other ways to help them learn.
The challenges we face with them are the same ones we had the day before.
They still have major speech delays and developmental delays,
but they are still the most amazing little people I have ever met!
If you knew them: Their quirks, how passionate they are about the things/people they love, their humor, and sweetness, you would agree they are amazing!
Their unconditional love and admiration for us and each other is profound!
I could go on and on about all the specific little things I love about each one of them, but my list is longer than this post.
We are blessed to know them and our lives are much richer because they are in our lives.
Please don't say that you're sorry.
Don't tell us that God chose us to be their parents for a reason.
Don't tell us that God won't give us more than we can handle.
Don't tell us He trusts us with them and that's why we were given such a challenge.
All of these things make it sound like we would do anything different if it was possible.
But they are healthy, happy, energetic, tender hearted little boys.
They are perfect!
If there was any way to change them or somehow "cure" them, we wouldn't do it.
They are amazing!
Saying we would change them would be like say they weren't already perfect.
Each one of us has something challenging in our lives.
This is no different.
Our lives are not over because of this diagnosis.
Our lives go on and we will make the best of each moment.
Celebrating all victories in challenges we face in each area of our lives, big and small.
We can't imagine a life were they weren't in it!
That day in the Neurologist office, I knew very little about Autism.
Today, I know a little more.
Each day I learn something new.
It's a process.
We are proud of our tender hearted, grilled cheese making, joke telling, sweet Brett.
We are proud of our dance-machine, dramatic, adorable, whistling Favre.
We always will be.
