Goodbye 2014 - Hello 2015

Coming to the end of twenty fourteen kind of feels like "thank, God, I made it".
You might not believe me when I say this has been the hardest year of my adult life.
When you see my posts here and there on Facebook and Instagram they are mostly positive or about good things but remember that internet lives are not the whole story. My thoughts about this may change someday but right now I'm alright with only showing mostly good things through social media. However, I would be lying if I said there weren't times I wished I could share the hard. I haven't shared as much because I'm truly afraid that if I start it will be hard to stop. Or it will only look like I'm complaining. Which I probably would be. I don't keep the hard to myself to make it seem like my life is perfect but rather to avoid extra damage to my already too sensitive heart.
So, with these thoughts I'll just say that this year was not what I expected it to be....it was so, so hard.
When the new year started it felt full of possibilities and I was blissfully happy with my three week old baby, my twins, and my husband. Circumstances can change so much. And I've let my circumstances steal my joy, my life, and my hope. Too many times my heart has felt tortured and lifeless. I've let my mind stay in a place that's unforgiving of self and let it wreck my self esteem to some extent. I wish I could say that I've found a way out of the dark hole I've let myself sink to but I don't think I'm there yet. Filling myself with good. Reading things that uplift. Prayer. Yet, I remain here in this place. A place of hopelessness.
And yet, even in all of this hopelessness I know somewhere inside of me that there is hope. It's a constant battle within myself between knowing the truth and feeling desperate anyway. So much about my life has not turned out the way I thought it would. Most things are for the better. Some things feel like "what happened? how did I get here? Seriously, what happened?" I have said for years that I never wanted to come back to this town to live and yet here I am. Here we are. Don't get me wrong, I love that we are so close to family now. That part has been nice. However, even with that I haven't felt this alone in a long time. Even the short time we lived in Houston and I knew no one, I still didn't feel alone like this. Being back though, my husband doesn't seem to need me as much, my kids have other people (this is good though), and I am left feeling unneeded and without my best friend.  All the tears cried. Time wasted. Life not lived. Twenty fourteen, I have never been so happy to see you go.
I know that a new year is not the answer. It doesn't fix anything. Time is just moving onward.
Yet, I feel sparks of hope again with the prospect of the new year. And that is something.

So, in all my rambling thoughts there is this one thought that I shared all of this to get to. I'm tired. I feel like the new year is bringing some kind of rest. Bringing some peace. Bringing hope. I am looking forward to working towards some goals. Like reading more, making sure I get enough sleep, taking better care of myself, both physically and mentally. This is my last year in my twenties and I know time will go on after I turn thirty but it's hard to embrace the inevitable while feeling like you haven't accomplished all that you wanted to during the last decade. My resolve for this year is to make it one of my best. To work towards my better life, to be brave, to find my hope again, to see the awesome in my life again.

I am so ready for this year. A seemingly fresh start. My 29th year.

Hugs to you, friends, and cheers to a bright new year ahead! Hello 2015!

Pumpkin Carving

I think the best part about being back in our hometown is having our families so close.
Because having both sets of grandparents together for carving our pumpkin, was extra special.

Now, before you think that I'm really together and planned this little party in advance, I'll let you know that I just decided yesterday morning that we needed to make this happen. I did bake cookies in the early afternoon so we could have a treat but I ran to the store for the pumpkin yesterday afternoon. Sometimes spontaneity is the best way.

I loved the boys reaction to the pumpkin. After I brought it home, I placed it on the dining room table and Favre kept saying "big, big". Then we showed them the pumpkin with the seeds & pulp still inside, Favre said, "Wow, wow, wow" over and over. It was pretty fantastic. (Incase I haven't chatted with you recently, the twins are saying more and more words.) :)

It was a magical night filled with family, treats, pumpkin carving, and my favorite homemade pumpkin spice lattes!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I want to remember...

Liam Edition.

I want to remember how you laughed and laughed tonight trying to catch Brett each time he walked past you in your Bumbo seat. Seeing how you love your brothers makes my heart ache with happiness. I pray you always see how awesome they are.

I want to remember how my heart broke when you didn't want me to rock you to sleep tonight. I'm chalking it up to how tired you were from only taking one nap in the early afternoon. Especially since you turned down your bottle as well. Please stay my baby a little longer. Mama loves rocking you to sleep.

I want to remember how you are starting to throw little tantrums when you aren't doing exactly whatever it is you want to do. You throw your head back and let out a scream/cry of discontent. It's hard not to laugh at you but I do my best to keep my composure.

I want to remember how you love to eat your vegetables. Peas are your favorite but so are sweet potatoes, carrots, and green beans. You are completely uninterested in fruit right now. I like to think you are happy that puffs come in sweet potato flavor. Also, I love watching you crunch them and then open your mouth to let me know you're ready for another. Meal times in your high chair are some of my favorite times of the day. You are so chatty and happy when you eat.

I want to remember how you were 8.5 months old when you started sitting up on your own without immediately falling over. How yesterday you picked yourself up twice after falling over. Everyday you work hard to get from your belly to sitting position and although you haven't yet accomplished this feat, you are close.

I want to remember how attached to your binky you are. I have been trying to keep it away from you during the day once I noticed how quiet you've become. Although you still babble with it in your mouth, it's not the same as when it's gone. And oh, how I love to hear you babble.

I want to remember the fact that you have 8 teeth already. It's kind of hard to believe that you already have that many but you are adorable all the same.

8.5 months old

Almost 6 Months

My mind keeps questioning over and over the reality of my baby on the brink of turning 6 months old. It doesn't even seem possible and yet in the same moment it feels as though he's always been here with us. / His sweet, happy, and sometime dramatic (so precious) personality is coming out more and more. / He's active but loves his sleep. / Cuddling is still his absolute favorite. / My favorite is laying down with him in the afternoon, I'll say "let's take a nap" and he giggles. Over and over. / He is definitely a HUGE fan of his mom, me. (*wink) I absolutely love it. /  He has my heart. Just like his brothers. /  Let's talk about those big brothers who sometime stop and give him a smile. / He completely lights up when they pay him any attention. / They are also his favorite. / They are interacting with him more and more. It's the sweetest and my heart feels so full just thinking about it. / He's on the edge of being able to sit up on his own. Rolling and scooting everywhere. / He loves to scream and squeal with delight. / He practices his pouty lip daily. / He sleeps through the night, mostly. / He has been working on trying to grab food and drinks for a few weeks now. / This morning he reached and reached for my bowl of Cheerios. Then, he proceeded to pout and half cry and share with me that he was upset that I wouldn't give him any of my Cheerios. This was a first. / I think I'm going to start him on solids this week. We can't have a hungry baby. / Have I mentioned how much I love this little man. / He totally has a piece of my heart.

Around here....

Hello. Thanks for hanging in here with me and my sporadic blogs posts over the last year.
It's been the kind of year that was so full and crazy that we lived it, tried to enjoy it, and at the same time just made it through. All this to say, I want to blog more, I want to be here, and I'll work on being here more. (probably saying this last bit more for myself than anyone else) *wink

The last four months went a little like this:

.Our third precious boy was born.
.I had a long recovery from my C-section.
.We drove to our hometown in Florida for my sister's wedding with our 3 week old.
.David and the twins caught the Flu on our last day traveling home.
.We had major car problems on our drive home, which long story short, resulted in trading in our current vehicle for a new one.
.Our 4 week old caught the Flu.
.Two trips to the ER because he was 4 weeks old.
.One of the above mentioned trips was spent in the NICU overnight.
.Everyone finally recovered.
.Still healing from my C-section.
.Our twins turned 6. What?!!!
.We celebrated with friends at the park and cupcakes at home.
.Trying to settle into life with a newborn again.
.Feeling like I was failing miserably and recognizing that things don't have to be perfect. Let it go!
.David and I made some decisions for our future.
.After looking for a new job, with a few interviews but no hires, since moving to Houston, we knew we needed to make some changes.
.His employment there had not turned out the way we expected when we moved to Houston.
.Deciding to move back to our hometown in Florida was a rough decision.
.We really liked Houston.
.Florida was not our plan.
.Sometimes plans need to change. Even if they feel like one of the hardest things you have to do.
.Our landlady let us out of our lease early.
.We had a clean house almost all the time because of potential showings.
.This was not easy with two 6 year olds and a newborn.
.The house was leased.
.My parents and youngest sister came to help us move.
.We would not have made it out of there without them.
.Loaded a U-HAUL and drove two days home.

(traveling. starting our second day. my three boys.)

.We are currently living with my very gracious (and wonderful, I might add) in-laws.
.Our new plan is to get on our feet again.
.David is still taking the BARR in July.
.He's currently looking for employment and had a 2nd interview with a company this morning.
.We are still settling in here.
.Being back is something I could have lived the rest of my life without but I do love being close to both our families again. That is something good.
.I'm looking for good everywhere because sometimes it still doesn't feel that way.
.I miss the busy-ness of Houston or city life in general.
.St. Augustine feels like home though.
.We are on the countdown for warm enough weather to make our first trip to the beach as a family of five.
.The twins can't wait. They love the ocean.
.That's all I've got for now.
.Thanks for hanging in here with me and my crazy blog writing.
.Sometimes it's easier to get out what I want to say if it's in a fragmented, small sentence, type form.

p.s. My baby is 4 months old today. I. Can. Not. Believe. It.
But I love him so very much.

Oh, Boy.

Liam Bennett arrived in December. He's precious, sweet, and has stolen our hearts.
I'm head over heels in love with this little man.

He has made our family even more wonderful.

...............................................................................................

I'll be back soon. Adjusting to life with three has been challenging and I'm still trying to find a good balance. Attempting to stay on top of select things around the house as well as caring for three boys has left little time for anything else. It also doesn't help that my emotions have been on a roller coaster, (as is likely to happen after having a baby), and I'm not quite back to feeling like myself. So, thanks for hanging in there with me.

Oh, and Simple October shop will be reopening with a few Valentine's Day goodies on Wednesday, February 5th.

Giving Pies

Well, I'm down to the last three weeks before our third little one arrives. I'm overly excited that he will be here so soon and equally excited to be able to eat different things again. Ha! I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes the last 9 weeks of this pregnancy and had to completely change my diet. In an effort to keep my blood sugar where it should be, I've been making the same few meals that seem to work, over and over. My husband has been such a trooper about it but I know he is just as excited for me to start cooking more variety again.
I say all of this to preface why all the mini pumpkin pies had to be given away. So, I took the batch of them, wrapped so sweetly, to my OB doctor and staff. They were a hit! Points for the win!!! *wink

Knowing that I was giving them away, I NEEDED to taste test them to make sure they stood up and didn't give me a bad rep. lol They were amazing! I even went so far as to cook my own pumpkin for these. (We never did get to that craft using pie pumpkins that I had planned. Oops.)

The adorable chalkboard tag is from Lia Griffith. Make sure to give her some love, if you visit her awesome website.

Welcome Baby Gift

Hello! I promise I'm still here. Things feel like they are finally starting to slow down.
After moving to Houston in May, I've been painting walls and organizing closets. And cleaning, lots of cleaning. Is it just me or do you feel like it takes several times cleaning in a new house before it starts to feel like home?

Anyway, I've also been working on a few custom orders from the shop. As well as, a welcome baby gift for some friends of ours. Of course, I was exceptionally late getting this gift to them but with everything else that has happened the last few months, I feel like I accomplished something by getting it to them at all. They are really sweet people and just welcomed their second little boy.

As moms, we know that it's important to stay somewhat organized for our sanity's sake, right?
So, I thought a set of zipper bags would be lovely to send to them. After all, you can never have too many bags, (*wink) and since this is their second a quiet keeper was also required.

I love the idea of a "welcome baby" gift set and will be working to put a few together for the shop.

Stay cool this summer!

Sunday Adventure

Today, we had a lazy morning. Once everyone was awake and dressed we headed out on a little adventure. The weather promised nothing but yuck (rain) but we had to get out of the house for the day. It was most necessary for our survival through the next week. I mean, does it really have to be Monday already?!
We are obviously still in the "explore our new environment" phase. We'll probably be this way for a good bit, which is a nice change of pace.
As we left home it was time for lunch. We tried a new to us pizza place. Pizza was good.
With our tummies full, we ventured out to Galveston to see the coast. Making another trip out there when the weather is nice is on our to-do list. If it wasn't for the lightning, we would have gone out to walk on the beach. As it was, we just drove through, found a Marble Slab, and ended up driving home again. A few errands before we ended the night at home. Grilled cheese, (or toast and peanut butter for me) fruit, and chips for dinner. B and F spent about 30 minutes in the pool before bath and bed. I'm worn out but it was fun to do some exploring.
How was your weekend?

 

 

So many changes in our blessed life.

Hi! Thanks for hanging in there with me. I know I've been absent here for a little while.
We made an out of state move the middle of May and it's been just a little crazy around here.

Let me back up just a bit.
The end of April, David and I found out, quite unexpectedly, that we are anticipating the arrival of our third little one. *insert huge smile* We are over the moon excited to be given the gift of another sweet baby.
I never wrote about my roller coaster feelings about having another baby after being given the diagnosis for our twins. It was a hard thing to even think about for a while. After the initial shock of everything wore of a bit, we, David and I, decided if we wouldn't trade the boys for anything, why would we give up our dream of another. So, even though this pregnancy wasn't planned, we feel so blessed to be on this journey again.

The second weekend in May, David graduated from Law School. His parents came and as always, it was so nice to have them here. By the way, it still seems somewhat surreal that he is finished with school. I mean, he's been in law school for 4 years. Sometimes that feels like a lifetime.

Then there was Mother's Day. We ate lunch at Five Guys. Um...I've been craving beef like crazy.

The following weekend, my brothers and one of my sisters drove in from FL to help us move to Houston, TX. They had to leave for home all too soon but it was wonderful to have them stay with us. I was missing them before they left. They are really awesome people and I'm so thankful to call them family. Love you guys!

Our new house (rental).

 

We are loving it here. No neighbors underneath, beside, or above. Plus, the backyard is one of the boys' favorite places. Everything feels right and calm here.
Now, if I could just finish unpacking we would be golden. Ha!
I've been painting. So far, I finished our master closet and bath. I had not unpacked most of the stuff that goes in our closet and wanted to get it painted while it was still empty. Our bedroom is next on my list.
Since protecting the baby is a huge priority, this is how I paint. Special paint respirator mask and I wear gloves. The gloves are more for keeping the paint off my hands but whatever. *wink*

 

I'll be back soon with updates on my painting endeavors and you know I'll want to show off our completed rooms.

 Thanks for checking in to see what's been going on with the Kinsauls!

Bye - Bye Law School.

If feels surreal that David is graduating from Law School in 16 days. (but who's counting?) *wink
He took his last final the beginning of this week. Crazy, right?!
I am just a little excited to be done with this chapter of our lives. I mean, it's been four years. Which seems crazy because it doesn't seem like it was that long and yet walking through it felt like we would never see this day.
I am one proud wife. It would be hard not to be proud of him since he's so amazing!
Proud of you, babe! ; )

Let's just talk about how incredible it is that we made it through law school with everything else that has happened in the last four years. Namely, what we've been through with our boys. The speech delay, therapy, the diagnosis. Most days it feels like a miracle that we are still standing, but we are.
We are preparing to embark on brand new adventure. (more on that later) Everything feels like it's happening fast, which is odd since we have been planning this for a while, and some days it's more than overwhelming. One day at a time. Deep breathes. Ha! Seriously though, major stuff in the works here, so if you don't see me for a bit, that's why. I can't wait to share our new adventures and awesome beginnings, so check back every now and then. I'll post again soon! Thanks for following our adventures.

*celebration cupcakes / Hooray for no more school!

A little travel with two...

Traveling with kids can be a real challenge, as I'm sure many of you know.

With that being said, we have a little travel system that seems to work for us and I thought it might be fun to share.
Seeing how others pack or do their daily tasks is always interesting to me.

Being prepared is absolutely essential for me.
Now that the boys are older, there are some things that have become easier. I don't usually pack a cooler with milk anymore. I know most restaurant's usually serve milk but when they were much younger we would run into places that didn't or were out. That used to be a big deal to these boys. These days, ice water is alright, if that's what we have.

So, I always pack a large bag of snacks, breakfast items, and drinks for all. David and I don't really snack when we travel but sometimes I need a little something to keep me going. This time I packed some roasted almonds and pita chips.
Since the boys are picky with what they will eat, it's best that I have stuff on hand all the time anyway. I carry our plastic food storage containers with us. It keeps the snacks fresh and I can wash the containers when we get home, so not a big deal. Also, I bring water bottles, 24 pack, with us and whatever David wants to drink (Gatorade this time.) to keep costs down and stay hydrated.

Snack cups...they go everywhere with us still. Then I also bring their milk/juice cups and separate water cups. All of these I wash out at the end of our day so they're ready for the next day. If I know we are going to be in a hotel, I pack a small bottle of dish soap and we keep paper towels in our car anyway.

This large utility tote from Thirty-One fits nicely on the floorboard in the backseat of our car. Plus, it holds so much! It's what I used for all our snacks this trip.

On to toys...
I changed up how I packed toys this trip.
Usually I have a container of toys and books that sits between their car seats so they can reach for whatever they want.
This time, I packed them each a plastic tool box of toys. The tool boxes fit on their laps and they could play with what they wanted, on their own. It worked great! There was minimal fighting over toys and both seemed pleased to have their own container of stuff. Using the boxes also helped to keep them more entertained with the toys since they didn't have access to them all the time. They fit on the floor right in front of their seats and I handed them to them when they needed some distraction.

 

 

 

Also included: books that I kept aside for later

                         Doodle pads

                         Alphabet electronic toys (their favorites, of course)

                         wallets from Aunt Julie with zipped up surprises (encouraging that fine motor skill of 

                         unzipping/zipping)

 

                         Travel DVD player and DVDs.........a serious must. They don't get to watch it most of

                         the trip but there are is always that moment when they don't want to sit there anymore

                         but you can't stop again just yet. It's a real lifesaver! Completely distracts them.

 

Then lastly, I whipped up this adorable terry cloth toothbrush travel bag for them.

I used Noodlehead's tutorial to make this. I found it ages ago and just got around to making one myself. I love it!

 

 

 

 

None of this makes travel a breeze but it does make it just a little smoother.

 

I hope you found this inspiring for your next trip or at the very least interesting.

Do you have any special tips that work for you when traveling with little ones?

I'd love to hear what they are!  

Wordless Wednesday / the line-up

Keepin' it real! These blankets have been sitting here in this corner since March.
How's that for real?

Wordless Wednesday / waterpark

Easter Sunday

One went to service.
Three stayed home.

This mama stayed up late making little fabric baskets.
I decided to go ahead and make them, since I want them for their room.
Also, I was being lazy about pulling their Easter baskets out of our storage closet.
The irony..........making these took a lot more time than getting them from the porch.
Oh, well!
They are sweet and adorable with their navy polka dot fabric and herringbone ribbon handles.

Filled with a few special treats for two little boys. Perfect.

We had dinner (lunch) together.
Roast beef, roasted carrots and brussel sprouts, mashed potatoes, and homemade rolls.

Boys and cloth napkins = something silly.
This is the life.

The four of us took a wonderful afternoon nap while it thundered and poured outside.
Best nap in a long time.

Ready to welcome April. We have six weeks till graduation. The days feel so long and yet speed by.
Onward we go!

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The winners from our weekend giveaway!

1st - personalized notecards - Leanne Schaffhauser
2nd - mini felt gift bag - Becky Ross
3rd - mini zippered bag - Kristin Laurel Rippy

Please send me an email at ekinsaul@yahoo.com with your shipping address.

Thanks for joining in the fun!

*All entry winners were chosen using random.org.

Oh, for the love of the weekend!

Thursday morning post talking about last weekend.
Yeah, that's how I roll.
Sorry for all the random posts and lenthy distance between. We've been busy over here.
Just trying to keep up with life.

So, I have a confession.
I am not usually a big fan of the weekend. At least not for the last 3 1/2 years. (insert busy law school student)
But, the weekends when David is home and we can get out together as a family... those are the best.
Those weekends feel like mini vacations.

Add in some gorgeous weather and it's perfect.



 

His smile is magic!

 







 

Boys first time climbing a tree. Let's just say they were BIG fans. I see a tree house in our future.

Favre's face in the last photo explains exactly how he felt about having to climb down out of the tree so his brother could climb up. Priceless!

 

What makes your weekend great?